finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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