I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
