Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
