Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
