Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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