By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
