he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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