My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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