I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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