forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize