1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
