And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
