stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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