i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
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Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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