he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
