Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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