Moan for me like Helen Keller
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
