I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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