I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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