I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God, I missed his penis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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