Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need water and some morals
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
