I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
