i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
