How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need water and some morals
Randomize