Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
