Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
