Screwed.edu
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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