i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Welp...herpes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
