I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
did i just pee glitter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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