I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize