i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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