I'm laying in your front yard are you home
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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