I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A bitchslap is in order.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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