you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
