You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
