xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
