Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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