Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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