i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
