Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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