you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
