Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
