Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
