I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
