my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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