I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
