She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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