i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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