College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
