I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
