What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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