the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
