This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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