I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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