She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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