Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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