dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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