True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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