Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
