Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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