I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
