I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
