We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
