Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
