After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
