Porn is love you can see.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
