I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
