Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
